NBA TEAM RANKINGS
                                by Michael and Caleb, Rams Record Editors

                                                                        NBA Team Rankings
         Here I have my 2018-2019 NBA season team rankings.           Click the link above to look at the 3-page slideshow           explaining why I ranked the teams in their respective           places. 

                                                                        Dad jokes

By

By:Jacob and Evan, Rams Record Editor

• How many apples grow on trees?
• All of them

• 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

• Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?
• They were cooked in Greece

• Don’t trust atoms they make up everything.

• What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
• Nobody knows.
• Why can’t you have a nose 12 inches long?
• Because it would be a foot.
• How do you make a kleenex dance?
• Put some boogie into it !
• What do you call a fake noodle?
• an impasta.
• Can February March?
• No,April May
• Wanna hear a joke about paper.
• Nevermind it’s TEARrible.
• Where did the one legged waiter work?
• IHOP
• I was going to take an all almond diet.
• But in the end I thought it was nuts!
• Where do you learn to make ice-cream-
• Sunday school.
• I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!
• What do you call a sketchy Italian neighborhood-
• the spaghetto.
• Did you hear about the "kid-napping" at school?
• It's fine, he woke up.
• The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
• Did you hear the rumor of the butter.
• Nevermind I'm not gonna spread it.
• Did you hear the story of the cookie?
• It was very crumby.

sources

https://bestlifeonline.com/dad-jokes-so-bad-theyre-actually-hilarious/

http://niceonedad.com/

http://pun.me/pages/dad-jokes.php

                TOP 10 NBA PLAYERS of ALL TIME!
                                                        By Ireland Baines, Rams Record Editor




                                                      TOP 10 NBA

                                   Click the Link to Discover
                                    The Top 10 NBA Players
                                     of ALL Time! 

Cultural Food

Belgian Waffles

By Lydia, Rams Record Editor

Ingredients

2 cups of all purpose flour

¾ cup of sugar

3 ½ teaspoon baking powder

2 large eggs (separated)

1 ½ cup whole milk

1 cup butter (melted)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Sliced fresh strawberries or syrup

Instructions:

In bowl #1 combine flour, sugar, and baking powder

In bowl #2 lightly beat egg yolks

In bowl #2 also add milk, butter, and vanilla.

Stir the contents of bowl #2 into dry ingredients in bowl #1. Mix well.

Beat egg whites until stiff peak forms

Fold into batter

Bake on a waffle iron

Afterward, top with strawberries or syrup or anything you would like to put on your waffle.

                              Call Of Duty Black Ops 4

By: Dale, Rams Record editor

Call of Duty Black Ops 4  is the newest CoD game with millions of people playing everyday. It is reported that the game is better than Fortnite and PUBG. You do not need to spend money to get things, except for DLC. Bo4 has 3 game modes including Blackout, Multiplayer, and Zombies.

Let's start talking about Blackout. It is one of CoD’s first battle royale game modes. It consists of solos, duos, and squads, with up to 80 players. That is 20 fewer than Fortnite and PUBG, and 16 more than the Firestorm Battle Royale mode in Battlefield 5. The game includes all of the previous maps found in the other CoD games.

Now let's talk about Multiplayer.  First of all, the graphics will leave you speechless. You can play Hardcore TDM, Kill Confirmed, and many more modes. Some of the modes are won by the team which has the most kills at the end of the time. Some have certain kill limits that your team has to reach to win.

Finally, we move on to Zombies which has 3 maps IX, Voyage of Despair,  and Blood of the Dead. Zombies is an intense multiplayer and singleplayer mode. You can play alone with bots. There are many waves with each wave getting harder and harder.

This is just a Quick summary of Call of Duty Black Ops 4. If you want to experience the full game and all of its features then buy it for yourself at your local game store. There are many stores to choose from Here’s a list to get you started.

WHERE to FIND CALL Of DUTY BLACK Ops 4

BestBuy	$59.99	Insured for 2 years at 7.99.
Gamestop	$54.99-59.99
Playstation Store	$59.99
Target	$59.99
WalMart	$59.99

                                         

                                                     Surprise Cake Recipe!

By Savannah, Ram Record editor

Ingredients 😁

• ½ cup of unsalted butter, softened (Not melted!) and some for pan

• 1 ½ cups of sugar
• 3 large eggs
• 2 ¼ cups of all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 3 ½ teaspoons baking powder
• 1 ¼ cups of whole milk
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• 2 ½ cups of buttercream frosting

Directions 😂  

1. First multiply the ingredients by 4.
2. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
3. Mix together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Then set it aside.
4. Prepare the pans so that the cake does not stick to the pans. You can spray them with cooking spray, rub the sides and bottom with butter, use flour, or use parchment paper.
5. Beat the butter and the sugar together until it is light and fluffy. Mix together for about 3 to 5 minutes on medium speed.
6. Next, add in the eggs one at a time. Beat until the batter is very smooth and creamy-looking. Make sure that the eggs are at room temp.
7. Beat in half of the flour, baking powder, and the salt. Add it into the mixer at low speed. Mix until it has all been incorporated.
8. Beat in the milk and vanilla. Alternate between the dry and wet ingredients. Stream in the milk on a low speed.  
9. Next beat in the flour mixture until no flour is revealed. Be sure to stir by hand with a spatula so that you can get all of the flour that may still be at the bottom of the bowl.
10. Divide the batter evenly between cake pans. Make sure that it is not filled to the top because when they are in the oven they will rise.
11. Take a spatula and smooth out the tops. After that gently tap the pans against the counter/table to get rid of all the air bubbles.
12. Bake from 25 to 30 minutes. When it is done it should have puffed up and look golden brown. Another way to test it is to take a toothpick and stab it into the cake, in multiple places. When you take it out it should come out clean.
13. Let it cool for about 15 minutes in the pan. Then take a silicone spatula and trace the inside-edges of the pan to make sure that it did not stick.
14. Flip the cakes out of the pans and then turn them right side up to make sure that they cool completely.

How to Assemble 😎

1. First put down a bottom layer of cake. Then put a layer of buttercream frosting.
2. Next put a second layer of cake on top of the first and put a layer of buttercream frosting. Repeat this until you only have one cake left to stack.
3. Leave the last layer of cake separate for now because you will incorporate that later.
4. Now comes the hard part, you will cut out a medium-sized circle through the second and third layer of the cake. Be sure NOT to cut the bottom layer of cake.
5. Fill the cake with you favorite candy, for example: sprinkles, m&m’s, chocolate chips.
6. Now around the circle of the (temporary) top layer, put some buttercream. Then place the last layer of cake. After that frost the whole cake. Then put it in the refrigerator to cool some more.

                                

                                           Source

https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-a-cake-from-scratch-224370

  

 This is an idea of what the cake should come out to be like! 😋

                                                     
                                                                    A Weird Job

Jacob, Rams Record editor

  When you think of jobs you probably think of a Mcdonald’s cashier, Police officer or maybe even a janitor. Some companies, however take their jobs’ weirdness factor to a whole new level.

For example, have you ever imagined just watching Netflix all day, but as a professional earning REAL cash to boot? Well, that’s exactly what you can do. Netflix is actually hiring people to watch their shows and rate them. Before you do a happy dance, you have to understand that this means watching ALL of the shows, good and bad ones.

Why would Netflix be paying folks to be couch potatoes? They are hiring people to evaluate and assign the right rating to the show. They want their shows to be very high quality so critics must evaluate whether a show is worth keeping or needs tossing.    

Not a couch potato? Chew on this! You can be a professional gum remover. Yes, this is a real job in which you do exactly what the name implies. Perhaps you enjoy cleaning up other people’s messes. Part of the job is removing gum from the undersides of tables, streets, and other weird places.

Another weird job is that of being an odor tester. These so-called professionals smell things for a living. They sniff out such things as soaps and mouthwashes. They rate the odor on a scale of 1-10. They do this to ensure that the soap or mouthwash doesn’t smell bad.

  Possibly the weirdest job is an avocado tester. The way this job came to be was that there was an Australian restaurant called Good Fats. They wanted to assess the ripeness of their avocados so they hired somebody to test the ripeness of the batch of avocados. The job does not pay you but you get to eat avocados for free.

https://theundercoverrecruiter.com/weirdest-jobs-world/

https://www.rd.com/advice/work-career/weirdest-jobs-you-could-apply-for/

https://www.businessinsider.com/weird-jobs-youll-be-surprised-to-know-exist-2015-7

https://jobs.netflix.com/

                                         Gordon Hayward’s Injury

By: Ireland, Rams Record Editor

In 2017, Gordon Hayward, one of the best players on the Boston Celtics team, got a severe injury six minutes into the first game of the season. Hayward caught a pass from Kyrie Irving and was trying to dunk the ball. LeBron James came in hot and blocked him, but Gordon landed on the court the wrong way and…… he broke his leg!!!

The coach, and all the staff, rushed onto the court to see what was wrong. Hayward got pulled off the court and went to the locker room. The medics helped him out and after the game he went to the hospital where he found out that he would be in a cast for half of the NBA season. He was very upset.

Throughout the 2017 NBA season, Hayward was recovering and getting back on his feet. He started slowly, shooting while standing still, then dribbling while standing still. Eventually he started running and walking around before attempting layups and dribbling skills. After his recovery, he was even better than he was in the beginning.  

Although the accident was unfortunate it turned out well in the end. The Celtics still had their best player, Kyrie Irving. Gordon Hayward will return to the team and will be one of the starters this upcoming season.           Photo credit

                                The Biggest Mistake of My Life

By: Evan, Rams Record Editor

One day, my friend gave me a Minion shirt from Despicable Me. Now, these days, this shirt would look AWFUL. But, back then, I LOVED it. I never took it off.

After a couple days of wearing this shirt, I went outside to ride some bikes. To get out of my house, you would walk through the mudroom and exit through the garage.

Inside my garage, there are my mom’s Honda Pilot, my dad’s Ford F-150 and his police cruiser at the time. When I got to the garage, I saw a bottle of bright red spray paint. So I thought to myself “This shirt would look good with some red Minions”. So you obviously know what happens. I grabbed the spray paint, not knowing that my dad’s cruiser was behind me, and sprayed the shirt AND THE CRUISER.

Now, I didn’t see the cruiser until I finished biking. When I saw it, I SCREAMED. When I say scream, I mean SCREAMED. My shrieks were so loud that I’ll bet all of New Hampshire heard it.

I ran inside crying, expecting spankings until I died, which at that point I almost preferred. I sprinted as fast as I could to tell mom and ask her to clean up the mess I had made and, most importantly, to not tell Dad. Luckily, my dad was golfing and he wasn’t home. He came home late and wouldn’t have known, except that my brother and sister tattled on me. Dad hadn’t known because my grandfather came during the night and cleaned it with a shirt and gasoline. That is why you never trust a kid by the name of Evan Sebastian Berkeley with spray paint.

Thanks for reading!!!-

Evan

                                                    How to Make a Mirror Cake

By Savannah, Rams Record editor

Ingredients for cake

• 1 cup of white sugar
• ½ cup of butter       
• 2 eggs
• 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
• 1 ¾ teaspoons baking powder
• ½ cup of milk
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract  

Directions for cake

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Then grease and flour a 9x9 inch pan.
2. In a medium bowl cream together the sugar and the butter. Beat in your eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla extract. Combine the flour and the baking powder to the creamed mixture and mix it well. Finally stir in the milk until the batter becomes smooth. Pour the mix into your pan.
3. Bake for 30 to 40 min in your oven that has been preheated. You will know when your cake is done when it springs back to the touch. You could also take a toothpick and stick it in the cake multiple times. If it comes out clean then your cake is done, if it comes out wet or goopy put your cake back into the oven for a little longer.

Mirror Frosting Ingredients

• Buttercream frosting
• 1 ½ cups white sugar
• ⅔ cup sweetened condensed milk
• ½ cup and 1 tablespoon of water
• 2 tablespoons of gelatin powder
• ½ cup water
• 2 cups of white chocolate chips
• 4 shades of gel food coloring (of your choice)
• Large rimmed baking sheet  

1. The first thing that you want to do is take the cake that you have made and put a thin layer of buttercream frosting. This is called a crumb coat and will help keep the crumbs in the cake. Then add a thicker layer of frosting like you would normally.
2. Place the cake in the fridge for 3 to 4 hours to let the frosting harden. While the cake is in the fridge, we are going to get started on the glaze.
3. Add sugar, sweetened condensed milk, and water into a medium saucepan. Put the pan over medium-low heat and stir occasionally.
4. Mix gelatin powder and water in a small bowl that is seperate from the one on the stove. Let the gelatin mix set for a few minutes
5. When the sugar, sweetened condensed milk and water start to simmer, remove from heat and stir in your gelatin mix until it dissolves.
6. After that whisk in your white chocolate chips until they are completely melted.
7. Use a mesh strainer to strain the mix into a large bowl, and then let it cool for 10 minutes.
8. Divide glaze into 4 small bowls. Then add a different color to each bowl (make sure that the colors complement each other). At first add one drop of coloring to see how the color turns out. Add more coloring until your get the color that you want.
9. Pour half of one color of the glaze mix in a separate large bowl. Next, pour half of all the other colors into the bowl until you have four circles of your glaze layered in the bowl. Repeat the same steps with the remaining amount of glaze from each of the bowls. Do not stir the mix when you are done.
10. Now place a smaller bowl upside-down  in a rimmed baking pan. Make sure that it is lined with tin foil to catch any of the drips. Set the buttercream cake on top of the bowl and begin to pour the glaze over the cake in one long pour. The colors should begin to swirl and mix.
11. Let the glaze set onto the cake for about 10 minutes. When the time is up take a spatula or a butter knife to scrape off all of the drips at the bottom and make a clean edge.
12. After this step you are completely done with the cake. Now all you have to do is let it sit in the fridge for 1 to 2 hours before serving.

Find this good-”looking” cake at the link below.

                                                      

                       credit for recipe

              

                            pix credit